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Independence Day!
Happy 4th of July! Oh, it’s been a busy, busy summer and I’ve been struggling to find time to say “Hi!” But here I am. So “Hi!” I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday, complete with lots of sunscreen. And I’m not even going to mention fireworks safety because I’m just going to assume you are all smart enough to realize that every year a few kids sustain serious burns or eye injuries or worse. And did you know that sparklers actually burn at 2000 degrees? That’s a touch hotter than the 120F needed to cause a serious burn in 3 seconds in a child, isn’t it? So I don’t really have to say anything, do I?
Anyway, there are no fireworks for us this year, living in London, but we did spend yesterday at the annual Demcrats Abroad 4th of July picnic. Last year, if you remember, it was highlighted by Eva’s very first cupcake. 8 months old and I thought it was high time she learned about frosting.
But this year was a little different. The girls can actually run. So rather than sit on a picnic blanket and listen to the band, their father and I took turns sprinting around the event, pulling them out of the way of swings, off playground equipment, out of other people’s picnic hampers and generally just out of harm’s way. They had a ball. Us? Not so much. It was Independence Day in so many ways this year. They just have places to go and people to see.
One thing that did keep their attention for a long while, however, was the music. At the risk of looking like an utter buffoon, I got them moving and grooving to the beat by twirling and clapping in front of the band. It turns out that Zoe dances a bit like a crazy chicken. I think she gets it from her aunt. But never mind. The point is that they are really into clapping and stomping and it’s great for their development.
But back to the food, Zoe had 2 cupcakes. Eva threw hers on the ground. And then she stole an entire pulled pork sandwich and a slab of ribs from her father. Done with that, she quite literally ate 25% of the free watermelon at the Costco display. Party over, we headed off for an all American sushi dinner where the little monkeys ate an order of vegetable tempura, 6 beef gyoza, a bowl of edamame, an avocado roll and two servings of sorbet. Where do they put it? Eva is still just barely the size of a one year old. With the palate and appetite of a food critic. She actually stabbed much of her meal with chopsticks and somehow got it to get mouth. Talented little toddler she is.
Anyway, we had a wonderful family day and did our best to celebrate Independence Day from Across the Pond. May your family enjoy an equally fun (and safe!) Fourth.
A Little Emotional Explosion
You guys know how I feel about immunizations, right? Oh, in case I’ve just not been clear enough, I think they are one of the true miracles of modern medicine. They save lives. My kids have not only had all their shots, they’ve had some “bonus” jabs as well. (Like when we moved to the UK and had to repeat certain ones to get “on schedule” or when Eva accidentally got a shot meant for Zoe. Oops!) I believe, to the bottom of my soul in vaccination.
I’ve even written publicly about it. Not too long ago Parenting magazine asked me to comment on Andrew Wakefield, the “doctor” who is responsible for the MMR-autism scare. Yet, despite all this, there is a part of me that has held back, that hasn’t really said honestly what is on my mind. I think many pediatricians are guilty of exactly this: we all immunize our own kids but we don’t want to alienate the families that don’t, so we sort of bite our lips and think our thoughts and do our best to care for those families too. Because our true loyalty goes to that child, the one who’s been put in harm’s way (and placed others there by default) by his well-meaning yet misguided parents. (For more on this, read the excellent Autism’s False Prophets by Dr. Paul Offit.)
But this week my sister sent me a link to an article by Dr. Michelle Au, a physician who is also an author (we’re a small club—welcome Dr. Au!). You can read it yourself here but the gist is, never mind what you choose to believe about vaccines, when you don’t vaccinate your child, it makes us deeply angry. It means that your child and other children are put at risk, might possibly die, because of a lot of scare mongering and celebrity bigmouths and organizations aimed at derailing one of the greatest advancements in medicine ever. And to those parents and “movements” who have accused doctors of being engaged in some great conspiracy aimed at ruining the lives of innocent children, shut your mouth. How dare you. I don’t do this job because I have some grand ulterior motive; I do it because I love taking care of children and want them to have the happiest, healthiest lives possible.
Anyway, I can’t let myself get too worked up over this. I’ll let you read the article yourself. But I want you to know a few things: I don’t know a single pediatrician who has not chosen to vaccinate his or her children, on the recommended combination shot regimen. My kids are fully vaccinated and then some (they got all the US and UK shots including meningitis and chicken pox). I have seen children die from vaccine preventable illness. And I believe in the scientific community’s conclusion that vaccines do not cause autism or immune problems or hairy upper lips or whatever nonsense is out there.
Yes, I cried when Eva got her first set of shots. Because it hurt her. But I got over it. Because it was the right thing to do. And thank you, Dr. Au, for being brave enough to say what I wasn’t: if you accuse me of somehow purposefully misguiding families, it feels like a punch in the gut. In fact, I like what this lady has to say so much that I bought her book. And as soon as I finish “Go the F(*K to Sleep,” I’ll be digging in.
Here kid, chew on this steak.
I like to think I’m a reasonably intelligent, middle-of-the road parent. I try to keep them safe, but I don’t freak out when Zoe gives herself yet another bloody lip. I encourage a healthy diet but sometimes there is chocolate ice cream for dessert. I prefer for them not to eat sticks and dirt, but hey, sometimes it happens. Do you get what I mean?
But when I first started solids for the girls, I was determined to do it “the right way.” So, true to American pediatric training, we started rice cereal. And three days later added some applesauce. And three days after that some peaches. And three days after that I realized that, at this pace, Eva would be 12 before we got to guava. Plus none of the baby food in the UK is simple. It’s all blueberry-pear-spinach-turnip combinations and crazy things like that. So I loosened the reigns and started introducing simple proteins, combined with various “new” vegetables and she seemed fine.
Then one day I handed her a rice cake and she screamed in protest until I traded her dumb plain cake for my spicy flatbread with hummus. She was done with baby food.
Poor Zoe, following in Eva’s footsteps but just a couple months behind entirely missed my attempt at “perfect” solid introductions. I was already over it by then. She got cereal for about 3 days, some applesauce and then straight on to whatever Eva was eating. Which was often what I was eating.
You may have heard of this “baby-led weaning” phenomenon. I always thought it meant allowing an infant to explore solids with a little more freedom than the old Gina Ford “pears for 2 weeks” regimen. Like you could let a baby look at your plate and reach for something and then you could cut it up or mush it and let her taste it. And I thought that sounded kind of reasonable. I sort of thought that was what I was doing.
But no! Turns out “baby-led weaning” is actually just handing adult food to an infant! I didn’t know this but my friend Amy forwarded me an article describing the whole movement. Apparently purees and mush are for losers. Trendy babies start sucking on a chicken wing at 5 months of age. You just hand a 4 month old an apple or a slice of cherry pie and let him have at it.
And that I do think is nuts. They don’t have teeth, people. Or very big brains. Should I also hand my toddlers scissors and ask them to cut their own hair as they see fit? Or maybe give them some vegetables and a large knife and have them help me make a salad? Maybe Eva and Zoe could decide which household chemicals are dangerous and which ones are perfectly fine to play with?
So let’s go back to middle-of-the-road. Do I think there is any one perfect way to feed a baby? No. Did my kids start eating off my plate at a pretty early age? Absolutely. And are they happy, healthy and adventurous eaters now? Yes they are. But come on. I pull the chicken off the drumstick and cut it into bites. I don’t hand them and entire wing and expect them to neatly suck the meat off the bones before laying them in a little pile on their plates. That’s absurd. And dangerous. And dumb.
Or am I just way off base here?
Can I offer you coffee? Cappuccino? Formula?
Sometimes I’m almost at a loss for words. Notice I said almost. You all know I think breast milk is awesome. And you might know that both my kids were formula fed, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I gave birth to neither of them. So while “breast is best,” formula isn’t poison. So what horrifies me about the following is not that it’s about formula. It’s because it’s about luxury formula. Yes, you read that right.
Sometimes I’m almost at a loss for words. Notice I said almost. You all know I think breast milk is awesome. And you might know that both my kids were formula fed, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I gave birth to neither of them. So while “breast is best,” formula isn’t poison. So what horrifies me about the following is not that it’s about formula. It’s because it’s about luxury formula. Yes, you read that right.
Turns out that Nestle is introducing BabyNes, a formula dispensing system nearly identical to their Nespresso coffee drinks. You know, the little cartridges you pop into a machine and a few seconds later you’re sipping away at a foamy latte? Yes, soon the mothers and infants of Switzerland will be enjoying the convenience of 30 second cappuccinos and bottles of formula.
Expensive? You bet. The formula capsules cost four times more than the coffee variety and those aren’t cheap. But that’s not the part that upsets me the most. If someone wants to pour money down the drain, that’s their business. And no, I’ve nothing against Nestle. In fact, my kids were on a formula originally created by that boundary pushing—and at times controversial—corporation. Nope, it’s not even the thought that mom could confuse her macchiato with her kid’s breakfast.
It’s the fact that the machine heats the water. I’m sorry, but my kids drank room temperature milk. There is zero reason to heat a baby’s bottle. No, I wouldn’t serve it cold, but you certainly don’t have to heat it up. And what happens to a baby who gets warm milk? Yes, that’s right, he insists on continuing to drink warm milk. Which means tearing around the shopping mall in desperate search of a cup of hot water in which to warm your baby’s bottle.
So call me cruel, but I’m sticking to my guns on this one. Any future child I may have will get the same room temperature milk as Eva and Zoe got. This Mama isn’t searching for a microwave while her little one screams the desperate cries of a starving infant. No matter how cool it might be to have a little baby cappuccino machine.
What say you?
Potty Time
At what age should you potty train? There are folks out their who believe in no diapers, “observing” their children from early infancy for clues that a big one’s coming and then holding them over the toilet. To me, that sounds not only like a lot of work but potentially disgusting. To me, “potty trained” doesn’t just mean that all the poop goes into the toilet but also that a child understand the process, is physically mature enough to recognize the urge “to go” and able to contain himself, literally, until a potty can be found. Most people would say this is between 2 and 3 years old.
At what age should you potty train? There are folks out their who believe in no diapers, “observing” their children from early infancy for clues that a big one’s coming and then holding them over the toilet. To me, that sounds not only like a lot of work but potentially disgusting. To me, “potty trained” doesn’t just mean that all the poop goes into the toilet but also that a child understand the process, is physically mature enough to recognize the urge “to go” and able to contain himself, literally, until a potty can be found. Most people would say this is between 2 and 3 years old.
Okay, but what do you do when your 16 month-old continually announces all of her wet and dirty diapers with shocking accuracy, then brings a new diaper and lies on the floor, waiting for a clean up? Or when your 19 month-old continually stands next to the toilet and tinkles (on the floor!) before her bath?
Here in the UK they tend to potty train a little sooner than in the US and by 2 kids are expected to be “on the road.” The good part is that the school will finish the job for you. But for an American trained pediatrician like me, it makes me a little nervous. What if they aren’t ready? Forcing the issue is likely to create more problems than it’s worth. Shouldn’t we just let them decide when it’s time? At least wait until they can talk?
But who am I to argue? So I bought a pretty little potty shaped like a frog. The girls are getting plopped down on it just before and after their bath, only for a few seconds, in the hopes that the process will sort of click. And I have to say, so far, at least, they think it’s hilarious. They love it. Eva dragged that potty around her room for 3 hours after it arrived. And Zoe keeps trying to wear it on her head. So I’m not totally sure where we’re going with this. But I’ll let you know how what happens.
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"WHAT I LIKED: This book is written in a funny, down to earth way that doesn't make you feel like an idiot. I really would have appreciated something like this when my kids were really little and I freaked out over everything they put in their mouths. It has a scenario/question and answer format, with clear answers on when not to panic and when to call 911."
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